


once a watersexual, always a watersexual

by wonuw



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, and will, but are they actually together? who knows, everyone bullies rin including rei, it kinda follows the dttf plot but not really, kisumi and asahi are idiots in love, maybe they should play a game and see who can get rin the most triggered, momo is so cute, rin gets triggered s u p e r easily, rin is fun to bully, sousuke likes to annoy rin, tbh everyone does, this is a mess, this was supposed to be asakisu but i ended up adding everyone, your typical chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-06-29 10:47:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15727842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonuw/pseuds/wonuw
Summary: water: why is water wetwater: because im therewater: haha good onereeen: haru water is wet for everyone????water: fuck uorthat one free group chat no one asked for but here u go anyway





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for clicking on this shit show,, episode 6 was wi l d maybe hiyori isnt that bad but we'll see. too bad kisumi wasn't in it  
> dedicated to ruth for laughing at all my lames jokes and helping me with their names 我爱你宝贝儿

niconicobitch added water, momkoto, and reiofsunshine to the chat. 

niconicobitch renamed the chat “NICO NICO BITCH” 

 

niconicobitch: NICO

niconicobitch: NICO

 

reiofsunshine: nagisa no

 

niconicobitch: NIIIIIIIIIIII

 

water: what the fuck

 

momkoto: language haru! 

 

water: laNgUaGe hArU

 

momkoto: DONT SASS ME 

 

water: sorry mom

 

reiofsunshine: nagisa what is this for

reiofsunshine: you know we have like

reiofsunshine: five other chats of the exact same name and the same people inside

 

niconicobitch: ah but thats where youre wrong rei-chan!!!!!

niconicobitch: this chat is special!!!!

 

reiofsunshine: but that’s what you say about all the chats???

 

niconicobitch: OK BUT THIS ONE IS REALLY SPECIAL I PROMISE

niconicobitch: this one is for all the swim people we know!

 

water: what about rin

 

momkoto: …

 

water: what

 

momkoto: nothing nagisa add rin

 

niconicobitch: ok!!!

 

niconicobitch added reeen to the chat

 

niconicobitch: hi rin-chan!!!!!!!!

 

water: rin 

 

reeen: oh hey haru 

reeen: nagisa what did i say about adding me to these weird group chats of yours

 

niconicobitch: you said that youd ban me from swimming :(

 

reeen: for how long?

 

niconicobitch: …

niconicobitch: until haru-chan stops being watersexual…

 

reeen: and when is that?

 

niconicobitch: never because once a watersexual always a watersexual…

 

reeen: ok good that you remember!

reeen: sO WHY DID YOU STILL ADD EM

reeen: DO OYU KNOW HWO MANY

reeen: CHATS

reeen: IVE BEEN ADDE DTO

reeen: AND HOW MANY MESSGAES I HAVE

reeen: MY PHOEN HAS BECOEM A VIBRATOR AR EU HAPPY NAFISA

 

water: you only have 27 chats rin

water: half of which are dead

water: and you dont even read your messages

 

momkoto: you go haru

 

reeen: HARU DONT BULLY ME

reeen: IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND SINCE WE WER E KIDS DONT BU L LY ME

 

niconicobitch: who cares anyway rin-channnnnn just delete everything!!!! only we are important anYWay

 

water: yeah what nagisa said 

 

reeen: HAUR YOUR E SUPPOSED TO BE PROTECTINGME 

 

water: no

 

momkoto: sAVAGE HARU STRIKES AGAIN

 

reeen: I AM HURT

reeen: WONDED

 

reiofsunshine: *wounded

 

reeen: GO AWAY REI YOU CANT BULLY ME 

reeen: YOUR BUTTERFLY ISNT EVEN THAT NICE ANYWAY 

 

reiofsunshine: hey! i’m trying ok

 

niconicobitch: NO BULLYING 

niconicobitch: APOLOGISE

niconicobitch: APOLOGISE

 

reeen: what th

reeen: HE WAS BULLYING ME

 

niconicobitch: NO

niconicobitch: APOLOGISE

niconicobitch: APOLOGISE

niconicobitch: APOLOGISE

 

water: you should apologise, rin

 

niconicobitch: APOLOGISE

 

momkoto: yeah nagisa isnt going to stop if you dont

 

niconicobitch: APOLOGISE

 

reeen: IM N OTKEGDKSSB

 

niconicobitch: APOLOGISE

 

reeen: FINE FINE OK JUSTS TOP

 

niconicobitch: APOLOGISE

 

reeen: IM SORRY 

reeen: IM SORRY REI PLS FORGIVE ME

 

reiofsunshine: you are forgiven, rin-san

 

reeen: rei you lil sHIT

reeen: I MEAN

reeen: ARENT YOU A REI OF SUNSHINE AHAHHAHAAHa

 

niconicobitch: APO

niconicobitch: ok thanks rin-chan!!!!!!

 

momkoto: this is a mess

 

water: agreed

water: so lets add more people

 

momkoto: haru that doesnt even make sense

 

water: you dont make sense

 

water added kissme and asabye to the chat

 

niconicobitch: KISU-CHAN ASA-CHAN HIIIIIIIIIIII

 

kissme: hi!! 

 

asabye: uhhhhh

asabye: haru what is this???? 

asabye: oh hi makoto

 

momkoto: hi!

 

water: this is nagisas “””special chat””” have fun

 

niconicobitch: hmmm i said this was a chat for swim people but i guess kisu-chan can be an exception!

 

kissme: can you make an exception for my pet rock too

 

niconicobitch: pet rock?

 

asabye: KISU STOP IT 

 

reeen: KISU THATS SO CUTE IM CRYIGN

 

kissme: asahiiiiiiii :)))) 

kissme: u better not bully him :))))))

 

asabye: godammit

asabye: ive lost to a ro c k

asabye: time to drown in my tears becuase i lost to a fucking. rock. bye guys 

 

water: bye

 

momkoto: haru dont be so mean! 

 

kissme: asahi stop being dramatic 

kissme: anyway ill just give you cpr if you drown you cant run away that easily

 

asabye: c p r wow that sound g r e at

 

kissme: i know!!

 

niconicobitch: kisu-chan i want to see your pet rock!!!

 

kissme: ok!!

kissme: guys id like you to meet my pet rock

kissme: his name is rocky aka iwa-chan

kissme: look he’s so cute

kissme:  iwachan.png

 

reiofsunshine: ...it’s really just a rock

 

asabye: yeah well what else did you expect a pet rock to be??? a guy with black spiky hair who yells at trash and plays a sport which involves hitting balls above a net and trying not to break your arms while receiving the ball?????? i dont think so

 

momkoto: that was… oddly specific

 

niconicobitch: ITS SO CUTE

niconicobitch: wait but how come its in a trash can

 

asabye: BECAUSE ITS TRASH

 

kissme: bec

kissme: no its not trash stop being mean asahiiiii :(

kissme: bc thats the one place asahi wouldnt find it since asahi is a monkey and monkeys dont look through trash!!

 

reeen: looks like trash to me

 

asabye: hEY IM NOT A MONKEY

asabye: MOMKOTO HELP HES BULLYING ME

 

momkoto: well you started it asahi

 

water: yeah asahi

 

asabye: uGh haru stop taking your boyfriends side 

 

water: hes not my boyfriend 

 

reeen: they’re not boyfriends

 

niconicobitch: noy yET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

asabye: i hate you kisumi

asabye: you and your trashy rock

 

kissme: no you love me

 

asabye: you know what

asabye: youre all trashy you and your rock bOth

 

kissme: oh so now im trash? 

kissme: no wonder you want to take me out!!! how smooth of you asahi~

 

reeen: shit thats a good one

 

asabye: KDHSKDBSKSH BYE IM OUT

 

asabye left the chat

 

kissme: NOOO my asahi :(((

 

niconicobitch: rei if i did that would you take me on a date

 

reiofsunshine: i 

reiofsunshine: i dont know??? 

 

water added asabye to the chat

 

water: once a watersexual, always a watersexual

 

asabye: IM NOT WATERSEXUAL 

 

asabye left the chat

 

water added asabye to the chat

 

asabye: LET ME GO HARU

 

water: no

water: once a watersexual, always a watersexual

 

momkoto: he means, you cant leave this hell no matter how hard you try :) 

 

reeen: makoto using smileys is literally the most passive aggressive thing ive seen ever 

reeen: remind me never to get on his bad side

 

water: dont get on his bad side

 

reeen: I DIDNT MEAN RIGHT NOW

reeen: whatever

 

niconicobitch: asa-chan back to your problem!

 

kissme: yeaH

kissme: you cant just leave me like that asahiiiii :(

 

asabye: IM NOT WATERSEXUAL LET ME GO

asabye: NO ONE HERE IS WATERSEXUAL EXCEPT YOU HARU

 

haru: everyone who swims is watersexual

 

kissme: not me!! i dont swim

 

reeen: you play basketball so are you ballsexual??

 

kissme: that

kissme: actually sounds quite appealing BUT

kissme: i am ASASEXUAL aka i only have eyes for my one and only asahi!!~~~~ 

 

asabye: i am d ea d

 

kissme: no youre mine

 

asabye: since when?????

 

kissme: since now

kissme: meet me in the pit @ rn

 

asabye: w H AT

 

niconicobitch: relationship goals 

 

asabye: wE ARNET EVEN TOGETHER????

 

kissme: not yet!! but sOON

kissme: come here

 

asabye: wH ER E IS HER E

 

kissme: the pit

 

asabye: wHE E R IS THE PT

 

kissme: home

 

asabye: wHOS HOEM???

 

kissme: my home is anywhere you are <3 

 

asabye: iM GOIGNT O GET A FUFKNG HEART ATTAKC 

asabye: KISSUM WHERE ARE YOU

 

kissme: in the living room now hurry up before i start crying bc ive been too asahi deprived the whole day!!!!111!!!!!1!!

 

asabye: oK??? 

 

water: makoto can we be like that too

 

momkoto: uM

momkoto: I MEAN

 

water: i mean me and water

 

momkoto: oh

momkoto: OK NO HARU WEVE BEEN THROUGH THIS

momkoto: YOU CANT BE WITH WATER

 

water: why not

water: i can swim

 

momkoto: i

momkoto: rin help me please

 

reeen: haru

 

water: yes rin

 

reeen: i

 

water: yes rin

 

reeen: fuck

reeen: yes you can be with water haru

 

momkoto: RIN I TRUSTED YOU

 

water: ok thanks

water: im going swimming now

 

momkoto: hARU ITS MIDNIGHT YOU CANT GO FOR A SWIM NOW

 

water: time isnt real

 

momkoto: HARU

momkoto: haruuuuuu

 

reeen: he left

 

momkoto: yeah no shit sherlock

momkoto: ugh hes lucky they have an indoor pool

 

reeen: i think he’ll be ok

reeen: he wont fall asleep there right

reeen: right

 

reeen: makoto you arent answering he wont fall asleep there right

reeen: did he fall asleep

reeen: is anyone else online?? 

reeen: guys??

 

reeen: i guess no ones online then

reeen: well nagisa did say this was a swimmers chat..

 

reeen added soudonewithyourshit, gouhoe, aiichirou to the chat

 

reeen: hey guys

reeen: this chat has the iwatobi guys and some other people

 

gouhoe: RIN-SENPAI CAN YOU ADD GOU-SAN PLEASE

gouhoe: PLEASE

 

reeen: MOMO WHATHEFUKC DID I SAY ABOUT THAT NAME

 

gouhoe: SORRY SENPAI I’LL CHANGE IT NOW

 

gouhoe changed their name to gou’s hoe

 

gou’s hoe: IS THIS BETTER SENPAI

 

reeen: i

reeen: ok fine whatever 

 

soudonewithyourshit: fuck is this rin

soudonewithyourshit: i see nanase is here

soudonewithyourshit: is that why youre here

 

reeen: STOP IT SOUSUKE YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING

reeen: makotos here too you know 

 

soudonewithyoushit: i dont care

soudonewithyoushit: this is dumb im leaving bye

 

reeen: sOusuke dont be a bitch

 

soudonewithyoushit: being a bitch is my speciality 

 

soudonewithyoushit left the chat

 

reeen added soudonewithyoushit to the chat

 

reeen: souuuu dont be a bitch talk to me im bored

 

soudonewithyoushit: go talk to your dumb shark toy or something 

 

reeen: hEy sharky is not dumb ok

reeen: hed make better company than you

 

soudonewithyoushit: so you should talk to him instead 

 

reeen: iKDHSKSN sousuke why are you like this

 

gou’s hoe: SENPAI

gou’s hoe: AII-SENPAI SAID “ask them to shut the fuck up before my hair turns greyer than it already is or so help me momo” 

gou’s hoe: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANT BUT HE’S ANGRY AND WANTS TO SLEEP

 

soudonewithyoushit: see rin look what youve done

 

reeen: I HAVENT DONE ANYTHTING

reeen: why do i get accused for everything

 

gou’s hoe: youre fun to bully - aii

 

reeen: aii you were added to the chat cant you use your own phone 

 

gou’s hoe: shut up senpai i want to sleep - aii

gou’s hoe: SENPAI I THINK YOU TOO SHOULD SLEEP TOO IT’S VERY LATE 

gou’s hoe: GOODNIGHT RIN-SENPAI, SOUSUKE-SENPAI

 

reeen: goodnight 

 

soudonewithyoushit: shut up rin go sleep

 

reeen: i hate you sousuke

 

soudonewithyoushit: i hate me too

 

reeen: ARGHEDHSJ

 

...

 

water: i finished swimming 

water: the water said i could be with it if i want

water: take that makoto

 

asabye: hARU ITS LIKE

asabye: 3AM

 

water: time isnt real 

 

kissme: asahi come backkkkkkkk

kissme: i wanna cuddle youuuuuuuu

 

asabye: sorry haru gotta blast

asabye: hes a needly shit

 

water: what a prick

 

asabye: fUCK I MEANT NEEDY LIL SHIT

asabye: aND KISUMI IS NOT A PRICK FUCK YOU HARU

 

water: no thanks

 

…

 

kissme: SPEAKING OF PRICKS

kissme: HAVE I TOLD YOU GUYS ABOUT THAT TIME DURING TEACHERS DAY IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

 

asabye: omG I REMEMBER THAT ONE

asabye: HOLY FUCK TELL IT 

 

niconicobitch: what happened???

 

kissme: ok so

kissme: idk if you know but i love plants 

 

asabye: not as much as you love me but ok

 

kissme: sHUT UP Asahi im trying to tell a story here

kissme: ok so anyway

kissme: i brought a bunch of succulents and cacti to school to give as gifts because plants are GoodTM

 

asabye: not as good as me

 

kissme: sHutUP asahi

kissme: and i gave my literature teacher a succulent and she saw that i had cacti too

kissme: then she wanted to ask who would get the cacti 

kissme: bUT SHE SAID

kissme: “so,,,,,,, whos the prick”

 

asabye: MABAHAHAHAHAHA I STILL CANT GET OVER THAT

 

niconicobitch: LMAO THATS ONE LIT AF TEACHER

niconicobitch: LIT TEACHERS ARE LIT 

 

water: so who is the prick

 

kissme: MY MATH TEACHER BECAUSE HE FUCKNG CONVINCED OUR CLASS THAT CONGRUENCE DOESNT MEAN SAME 

 

asabye: kisumi calm yo tits down

 

kissme: NO

 

asabye: youre just salty he didnt give you a sticker on your test when you got everything correct

 

kissme: BUT HE GAVE THOSE WHO IMPROVED A LOT STICKERS EVEN THOUGH THEY DIDNT GET EVERYTHING CORRECT

kissme: i will forever be salty 

 

water: you dont deserve stickers

 

asabye: shut up haru 

 

niconicobitch: maybe its because kisu-chan was already so good he thought you didnt need stickers!!

 

kissme: so good

 

asabye: sto p i t

 

kissme: you can even eat it on its own!!!!!!!!!!!

 

asabye: godammit 

 

water: that doesnt make sense 

 

niconicobitch: “you dont make sense” haru-chan 2k18

 

water: dont quote me nagisa

 

asabye: no ones going to eat you kisumi

 

kissme: wow

kissme: reJecteD by my own boyfriend 

 

asabye: we arent even dating???????

 

kissme: not yeT…. someday we will…………..

 

asabye: sounds fake,......,.,,, but ok

 

kissme: aReNt yOu gOinG tO eAt mE aSaHi

 

asabye: no way

 

kissme: fiNe then i guess ill just eat myself 

 

asabye: w

asabye: KISUMI WHAT THE FUCK

 

kissme: like that quote 

kissme: you either eat me or ill eat myself

 

asabye: thats not how the quote goes????????????

 

…

 

reeen: gUys i have a riddle

 

water: me too

water: why is water wet

 

reeen: haru thats not even a riddle

 

water: because im there

water: haha good one

 

reeen: haru water is wet for everyone????

 

water: …

water: fuck u

 

reeen: ...maybe later

reeen: but hear my riddle first!!!!!!

 

water: what is it

 

reeen: ok so

reeen: four friends, a b c and d were teleported to another world

 

water: why

water: how do you know theyre friends

water: maybe they actually all hate each other

 

reeen: jUst 

reeen: just listen first

reeen: ok so theres a cave and inside theres a portal thatll bring them back

reeen: they have 14 minutes before the portal closes

 

water: how do they know theres a portal

water: and how do they know they only have 14 minutes

 

reeen: KSKDBSKD HARU JUST LISTENFIRST

 

water: ok fine 

 

reeen: theres only one torch between the four of them

reeen: a takes 7 minutes to go through the cave, b takes 4 minutes, c takes 2 and d takes 1

reeen: the cave can only fit 2 people at a time

reeen: how should they go so that all of them can reach the portal in time?

 

water: cant they just all go in at the same time

 

reeen: no the cave can only fit only two people at a time

 

water: what a shit cave 

water: cant they just go in a line

 

reeen: nOoooo haru only two people at a timeeeee

 

water: two people width but its still deep enough

 

reeen: okok fine two people width aNd depth

 

water: then its not even a cave its a hole

water: they can just all go in without using the torchlight since its just a hole

 

reeen: nOOO uRghs haru why are you liek this

reeen: ok hint use their timings 

 

water: fine

water: a and c go with the torchlight and then b and d 

 

reeen: no they need the torchlight to go through

 

water: but d takes 1 minute so he should know the layout of the ””cave”” well enough so he doesnt need to torchlight

 

reeen: nO thats not it

 

water: they should just stay in the new world and create their own new civilisation

water: who needs the old world

 

reeen: argH im so done with you haru

 

niconicobitch: I LOVE RIDDLES RIN-CHAN CAN I TRY

 

reeen: ok fine anythings better than haru at this point

 

water: no im the best

water: the very best

water: like no one ever was

 

reeen: ohmygodharu 

 

niconicobitch: rin-chan, why cant they just all go in a line?? its a cave isnt it

 

reeen: the cave can only fit two people at a time no matter which direction

 

water: its a shitty cave 

 

niconicobitch: hmmm

niconicobitcb: then how about a holds the torch and slowly walks through, while b c and d walk with him along the way? since a takes seven minutes, b can walk with him for four minutes, c can walk for 2 minutes, and the one minute left is for d

 

reeen: but they all need the torchlight to go through

 

niconicobitch: you didnt say how complicated the cave waS and since a has the torch they probably can all see it anyway and just run to a

 

reeen: fUcking hell i am so done

reeen: stop questioning the damn riddle arghahsg

reeen: thats not the answer nagisa

 

niconicobitch: ok brb

niconicobitch:  ill ask rei-chan to try since hes good at riddles!!!

 

water: whats the answer then rin

 

reeen: a goes with d (7min) and d goes back (8min). then b and c go (12min) then d goes (13min)

 

water: d doesnt have the torchlight how can he go

 

reeen: oH wait

reeen: b goes back and goes together with d

 

water: thats more than 14 minutes

water: rin you suck at riddles

 

reeen: i

reeen: AJRGEHSHHS 

reeen: FUCK THIS FUCK MATH

reeen: i came here to have a GOOD TIME but im hONESTLY FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW

 

water: good

 

momkoto: dammit haru i leave you for one (1) night and youre already bullying people again 

 

reeen: MAKOTO HAVE YOU BEEN LURKING HERE ALL THIS TIME WATCHING ME HUMILIATE MYSELF

 

momkoto: no…………..not at all……….what would make you think i would do such a thign…………

 

reeen: fUCKIGN


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ikuya and the gang are finally in! ikuya is such a joke istg  
> unbeta’d so sorry for any mistakes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @episode 7; tha n k y o u kyoani for blessing us with that asakisu scene, i am l i ivi n g,, my crops are watered, my skin clear, my grades brought back from the dead 
> 
> unrelated to everything but  
> you guys should totally listen to the haikyuu ost called tsukoku nare its so sad every time i listen to it i feel like c ry i ng

asabye: guys ive been thinking

asabye: we should add ikuya too! even though i think he kinda hates us…………

 

kissme: …..i can add him if you want 

kissme: my senpai gave me his number

 

asabye: why do you have his number…… you have me……….

 

kissme: noreason:))))))))))))

 

niconicobitch: YES ADD IKU-CHAN 

niconicobitch: KISU-CHAN DO IT 

 

kissme: ok! 

 

kissme added ikuha to the chat

 

ikuha: FUCK

 

ikuha changed their name to ikuya

 

asabye: hi ikuya!!!! idk if you still remember me im asahi from first grade

 

kissme: and im kisumi!! 

 

asabye: ik you kinda hate us but pls dont leave,,, we’re nice really

 

ikuya: ohh i remember you guys

ikuya: i don't hate you

ikuya: it’s just that hiyori can be quite protective sometimes

 

asabye: ew hiyori

asabye: by quite protective do you mean “””u dont have the right to see ikuya…...im his best friend”””””

 

ikuya: wait what

 

niconicobitch: HIIII IKU-CHAN im haruki nagisa from haru-chan’s swim team!! 

niconicobitch: you can call me nagisa!

 

ikuya: ...iku-chan?

ikuya: haru<3? is he here?

ikuya: fUCK I MEAN HARU is he here

 

kissme: HAHAHAH HARUS NAME AUTOCORRECTS TO WITH THE HEART THATS SO CUTE

 

ikuya: no fuckoff

 

niconicobitch: hes in the chat but i dont think hes online now! 

niconicobitch: maybe hes swimming

 

ikuya: oh ok

ikuya: is it ok if i add hiyori to the chat

ikuya: he’ll get mad if i’m messaging people and he doesn’t know about it

 

asabye: thats a bit… too protective dont you think

 

ikuya: it’s alright i don’t mind

 

niconicobitch: you can add hiyo-chan if you want!! but if hes mean like haru-chan said then hes not allowed 

 

ikuya: can't promise anything

 

ikuya added hiyori to the chat

 

hiyori: ikuya what is this

hiyori: who are these people

hiyori: what are you doing talking to ikuya

 

asabye: HIYORI

asabye: YOU BITCH

asabye: SAY SORRY TO HARU

 

kissme: woah asahi calm down

 

hiyori: who the fuck are you

hiyori: and dont call me by my first name

 

ikuya: hiyori don't be mean

 

hiyori: sorry ikuya

hiyori: who are you

 

asabye: SHIINA ASAHI, HIKADA UNI SWIM TEAM, FUTURE BOYFRIEND AND HUSBAND (tbc) OF SHIGINO KISUMI

 

kissme: AW BABE

 

asabye: fukcing apologise to haru u btich

asabye: “””””everyone who swims with you gets hurt eventually” WHAT THF EUCK

 

ikuya: hiyori wtf

 

hiyori: i can explain

 

water: no you cant 

water: apologise to me

 

ikuya: haru<!

 

water: hi ikuya 

 

ikuya: hiyori fuckign apologise to haru<3

ikuya: *************HARU

 

hiyori: shit ok 

hiyori: sorry bananase-kun

hiyori: im not actually sorry but ikuya asked me to

 

kissme: b ANA NA SE KUN

 

hiyori: FUCKSHIT

 

asabye: i hate you BUT IM DYIN G

 

water: explain yourself

 

ikuya: wtf hiyori i thought i told you to remove that

 

hiyori: iT WAS FUNNY OK 

 

water: i am not a banana

 

reeen: BANANASEKUN THATS A GREAT ONE

 

reeen changed water’s name to bananase-kun

 

bananase-kun: rin. 

 

reeen: HAHAHAHAHH SORRY HARU IT WAS TOO FUNNY TO PASS UP

 

bananase-kun changed reeen’s name to rinnegan

 

bananase-kun: thats better

 

niconicobitch: FINALLY HARU-CHAN’S OTAKU SIDE SHOWS

 

bananase-kun: i am not an otaku

 

rinnegan: ….this isnt as good as bananasekun but ok

 

bananase-kun: your old one didnt even make sense

 

niconicobitch: “you dont make sense” haru-chan 2k18

 

bananase-kun: nagisa stop quoting me

 

niconicobitch: nEVER

 

rinnegan: it made sense ok!!!!! its how english people say my name 

rinnegan: they emphasise on the i so it sounds like “reeeeeeen” 

 

hiyori: thats dumb

 

asabye: yOURE DUMB

asabye: stupid asshole

 

kissme: okok asahi you can stop with the insults

kissme: come here so i can cuddle you 

 

asabye: ok fine

asabye: hiyori dont be a bitch

asabye: hiyobitch

 

asabye changed hiyori’s name to hiyobitch

 

hiyobitch: what did i ever do to you

hiyobitch: ok nevermind dont answer that

 

momkoto: whats going on

momkoto: oH

momkoto: sorry please forgive asahi he can sometimes get a bit…… emotional

 

ikuya: it’s ok he deserved that

 

momkoto: oh ikuya! youre here

 

ikuya: hi makoto

ikuya: sorry about hiyori he’s protective of me

 

hiyobitch: im not protective,,,,,,,,,

 

ikuya: shut up hiyori

 

hiyobitch: sorry ikuya 

 

rinnegan: ...doesnt that sound really familiar? 

 

niconicobitch: yeah… but i cant think of where ive heard that before…

 

momkoto: ikuya, toono, can you introduce yourselves? i think theres still a few people who dont know you

 

ikuya: sure

ikuya: im kirishima ikuya

 

hiyobitch: im toono hiyori

 

rinnegan: toono more like

rinnegan: toenail

 

rinnegan changed hiyobitch’s name to toenail

 

toenail: this is….

 

rinnegan: u deserve it for having haru’s name as bananase on your phone

rinnegan: and its better than hiyobitch

 

toenail: ok i guess???????

 

ikuya: wait can i add my brother and his friend

 

momkoto: natsuya-senpai? 

 

ikuya: and nao-senpai

 

momkoto: oh nao-senpai! he works at the same sc i do

 

bananase-kun: sorry makoto but nao is the real mom 

 

niconicobitch: YAY NEW PEOPLE 

niconicobitch: ADD THEM ADD THEM !!!!!!!!!

 

ikuya: ok 

 

momkoto: oh but

momkoto: once you add them, they cant leave

 

bananase-kun: ever

 

ikuya: oh um

 

niconicobitch: haru-chan sounds waaaaaay less serious with that name 

 

bananase-kun changed their name to water

 

water: ever

 

rinnegan: i dont think so

 

rinnegan changed water’s name to bananase-kun

 

ikuya: well too bad i guess

 

ikuya added drinkingproblem and getoutnao to the chat

 

getoutnao: ikuya? what is this?

 

drinkingproblem: ikuya what did i tell you about talking to strangers

 

ikuya: at least i don’t take strangers out for dinner every night and then get drunk and fall asleep and make them take me back to my hotel,,, or talk to strangers at vending machines and flip coins that decide their fate,,,,,,,,

 

drinkingproblem: 

drinkingproblem: how did you know

 

getoutnao: i just checked the chat members and

getoutnao: “bananase-kun” and “momkoto”?

 

momkoto: nao-senpai! im makoto

momkoto: bananase is haru

momkoto: asabye is asahi 

 

getoutnai: oh, i guess that makes sense 

 

bananase-kun: natsuya race me

 

momkoto: haru formalities!

 

bananase-kun: natsuya race me desu

 

momkoto: …haru thats not how it works

 

rinnegan: wtf haru i thought you only raced me

rinnegan: whos nats

rinnegan: wAIT

 

getoutnao: maybe we should introduce ourselves?

getoutnoa: i’m serizawa nao, and he’s kirishima natsuya

 

rinnegan: oH KIRISHIMA

rinnegan: you’re the guy who took me out for dinner in sydney and made me pay for it! 

 

drinkingproblem: um

drinkingproblem: ummmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

ikuya: see brother at least i dont do that to strangers

 

drinkingproblem: oK ikuya i get it stop rubbing it in

 

bananase-kun: rin why did you go for dinner with random people

 

rinnegan: he wasnt random

rinnegan: he was a guy that showed up at the pool and demanded for mikhail to coach him

 

drinkingproblem: i didnt demand,,,,,,,,,,

 

rinnegan: oh wait ive been meaning to ask

rinnegan: who was the person that made you want to go back to japan? 

 

drinkingproblem: ,,,,,,,

drinkingproblem: its embarrasing to say,,,

 

niconicobitch: GASP

niconicobitch: #EXPOSING PEOPLE????? MY FAVOURITE HOBBY

niconicobitch: idk whats going on but WHO WAS IT???

 

ikuya: you need to stop wasting money on these useless trips

ikuya: you don’t win that many competitions anyway

 

drinkingproblem: shut up ikuya let me live my life

 

getoutnao: oh natsuya you went to sydney? 

 

drinkingproblem: yeah i heard there was a good coach there so i wanted to improve

 

rinnegan: but then he raced me 

rinnegan: and then suddenly wanted to swim with someone else so he went back to japan

 

getoutnao: was it haruka? 

 

drinkingproblem: nO 

drinkingproblem: it uh

drinkingproblem: it was you,,,,,

 

niconicobitch: SKDJSKDHS THATS SO CUTE

niconicobitch: ok sorry continue your love story

 

drinkingproblem: wtf 

drinkingproblem: ok actually i kinda lied 

drinkingnproblem: we havent seen each other in a while and idk i just?? got the urge to see you again after rin mentioned his friend

 

getoutnao: aWW natsu you sap

getoutnao: youre back in japan right?

getoutnao: lets meet up for a drink! 

getoutnao: ive been thinking of you too :)

 

drinkingproblem: DKFHSKD OK

 

bananase-kun: makoto 

 

momkoto: yes haru?

momkoto: wait 

momkoto: nonononono donT SAY WHAT I THINK YOURE GOING TO

 

bananase-kun: do you think water and i can be like that?

 

rinnegan: what the fuck haru 

rinnegan: again???? srsly

 

toenail: HAHAHAHHAA

toenail: BANANASE-KUN IS OBSSESED WITH WATER??

toenail: *nanase-kun

 

ikuya: go change that hiyori

 

toenail: ok ok

 

bananase-kun: shut up hiyori

bananase-kun: youre obsessed with ikuya 

 

toenail: i came here to have a good time and honestly??? feeling so attacked rn

 

asabye: gOOD

asabye: dammit what happened to hiyobitch i liked that better

 

momkoto: asahi leave it 

 

asabye: ok fiNe mom

 

bananase-kun: makoto you havent answered my question

 

momkoto: nO HARU

momkoto: you and water cant be like that

momkoto: everr

 

bananase-kun: why not

bananse-kun: you always say that :(

 

rinnegan: fucK haru using smileys im d e a d

 

niconicobitch: rin-chan thats not even a smilely??????

 

rinnegan: shUt up nagisa let me live my life in p ea ce

 

toenail: more like pieces

 

ikuya: shut up hiyori stop attacking people you don’t know

 

toenail: sorry ikuya

 

bananase-kun: ok makoto youre invited to my wedding

 

momkoto: um

 

niconicobitch: wow haru-chan’s so forward!!!

 

rinnegan: :( what about me

 

bananase-kun: as best man

bananae-kun: so you can eat your words when water and i get married

 

toenail: w h a t t h e f u ck

 

ikuya: haru i knew you loved water but,,

 

niconicobitch: HARU-CHAN’S SO MEAN HAHAHA

 

momkoto: i?????? what even

momkoto: ok haru i refUse to be your best man

 

rinnegan: wtf makoto you cant just do that

 

momkoto: i 

momkoto: want to be more important than just your best man

 

bananae-kun: but there isn

bananase-kun: oh

 

niconicobitch: oshit

 

rinnegan: wait wait wait

rinnegan: i think i know where this is going

rinnegan: oh my fucking go d

 

momkoto: (deep breath)

momkoto: marry me, haru!

 

bananase-kun: no! 

 

momkoto: wHY???

 

bananase-kun: i

bananase-kun: i dont love you!

 

niconicobitch: DID HARU-CHAN JSUT

 

rinnegan: I FUCKIGN CALLED IT

rinnegan: THIS WHOEL THING WAS JUST FOR THAT ONE MEME WANST I T

 

toenail: i dont really like haru but that was. w o w

 

niconicobitch: KANDKSBDKSBSK

niconicobitch: ELFHEKDNKS

 

reiofsunshine: what did i miss? 

 

niconicobitch: makoto-chan proposed to haru-chan!!!!! 

 

rinnegan: yeah with that fuckign meme no less

 

reiofsunshine: finally

reiofsunshine: i was worried makoto-senpai was going to go mad with all that pining he was doing

 

momkoto: REI

 

rinnegan: wait what

 

bananase-kun: what do you mean pining

 

niconicobitch: um rei-chan

niconicobitch: i dont think you were supposed to tell it to everybody,,,,,,,,,,,.,,

 

reiofsunshine: um

reiofsunshine: it seems you cannot delete messages..

reiofsunshine: I AM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME MAKOTO-SENPAI

 

momkoto has left the chat

 

toenail: well that escalated quickly 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> makoto and haru are such memes istg  
> but do they actually mean it? who knows  
> (if u understand why ikuya keeps asking hiyori to shut up i will love u)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rickrolled (finally)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really really really love asakisu idk if u can tell  
> also episode 8 killed me,, love me some hiyomako action  
> and ikuya is totally whipped for haru u cant convince me otherwise

kissme: asahi!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

asabye: yes?

 

kissme: we’re no strangers to love

 

asabye: g o d a m mit

 

kissme: you know the rules and so do i

kissme: a full commitments what im thinking of

kissme: (come on!!!)

 

asahi: (sigh)

asahi: you wouldnt get this from any other guy

 

kissme: i just wanna tell you how im feeling

 

niconicobitch: OMG

 

asabye: gotta make you understand

 

niconicobitch: NEVER GONNA GIVE YOUUP

niconicobitch: NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN

niconicobitch: NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU

 

kissme: NEVER GONNA MAKE U CRY

 

asabye: never gonna say goodbye

 

bananse-kun: never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

 

kissme: (KABDKSJS HARU YE S)

 

niconicobitch: (OMG HARU-CHAN KNOWS IT)

 

bananase-kun: (ofc i do)

 

momkoto: are you kiddi ng me

momkoto: i leave for ONE (1) MOMENT AND YOU GUYS START THIS AGAIN

momkoto: and even haru???? i trusted you

 

haru: (sorry mom)

 

niconicobitch: weve known each other for so long   
  


kissme: your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it   
  


momkoto: godammit

 

asabye: inside we both know what's been going on   
  


momkoto: at least let there be one sane person here

 

niconicobitch: we know the game and were gonna play it 

 

reiofsunshine: whats did i miss? i suddenly got a lot of notifications

 

haru: and if you ask me how im feeling

 

momkoto: FINNALY SOMEONE SANE

momkoto: help me stop them rei

 

reiofsunshine: ???

 

niconicobitch: doNT TELL ME YOURE TOO BLIND TO SEE

 

kissme: NEVER GONNA GIVE U UP

 

asabye: never gonna let u down

 

niconicobitch: NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE

niconicobitch: (come on rei!!!!!!)

 

reiofsunshine: and hurt you

 

momkoto: REI NOT YOU TOO

momkoto: thats it

momkoto: im disowning all of you

momkoto: im changing my name to tachibana marv and moving to antarctica with my pet tortoise called tobio and nONE OF YOU ARE INVITED 

 

kissme: NEVER GONNA GIVE U UP

 

bananase-kun: (have fun swimming there) 

bananase-kun: never gonna let you down

 

(cut for length)

 

… 

 

toenail: is

toenail: is everyone just gonna ignore what happened with makoto and bananase?

 

ikuya: HIYORI you need to get that fixed

 

toenail: about that,,

toenail: my autocorrect doesnt work anymore so i cant change it back

 

ikuya: gdi

 

toenail: ill just call him haru then

 

rinnegan: hiyori more like hitori

rinnegan: cuz youre all alone 

rinnegan: haha get it my jokes are gReat

 

toenail: stop making jokes out of my name dammit

toenail: how many more do you have

 

rinnegan: thats all

rinnegan: (for now…)

 

soudonewithyourshit: your jokes are shit rin

soudonewithyourshit: wanna hear a good joke

 

rinnegan: no

 

soudonewithyourshit: its you

 

rinnegan: i fucking knew it

rinnegan: go away sousuke

rinnegan: u asshole

 

soudonewithyourshit: asshole is my middle name

 

rinnegan: we dont even have middle names dumbass were japanese 

 

soudonewithyourshit: says the one called eric

 

rinnegan: WE WERE KIDS OK

rinnegan: K I D S

rinnegan: AND ERIC IS A COOL MIDDLE NAME 

 

soudonewithyourshit: only because you thought eric from the little mermaid was cool

 

ikuya: did someone say

ikuya: the little mermaid

 

toenail: //war flashbacks 

toenail: the little mermaid turns to sea foam at the end…. 

 

ikuya: gDI HIyori i told you like 9283837 times

ikuya: you arent the little mermaid

 

rinnegan: tbh haru would be the little mermaid

rinnegan: he loves the water and sucks at using legs on land 

 

ikuya: thats a bit mean,, 

 

rinnegan: its true

rinnegan: i mean

rinnegan: have you seen him run???

 

soudonewithyourshit: no 

 

ikuya: no,,

 

toenail: ive only known him for a while but no

 

rinnegan: eXACTLY because he sucks at running 

rinnegan: so 

rinnegan: haru can be the little mermaid 

 

toenail: ok but answer my question

toenail: is everyone just going to ignore haru and makotos “””proposal”” 

toenail: and what the rei kid said????

 

rinnegan: idk if you noticed but

rinnegan: makoto and haru are practically married

rinnegan: theyve been together since they were like what,, babies??

 

soudonewithyourshit: and you hate that dont you

 

rinnegan: SHUT UP NO I DONT

rinnegan: then being close is

rinnegan: good

 

sousuke: sounds fake but ok

 

… 

 

niconicobitch: AAAAA

 

aiichirou: whats wrong nagisa?? 

 

niconicobitch: AAAAAAAAAA

niconicobitch: AII-CHAN HELPPPPP

 

aiichirou: whats wrong?????

 

niconicobitch: I

niconicobitch: I LEFT MY COOKIES IN THE OVEN

 

aiichirou: YOU LEFT YOUR COOKIES IN THE OVEN??

 

niconicobitch: I LEFT MY COOKIES IN THE OVEN

 

aiichirou: AAAAAA

 

niconicobitch: AAAAAAA

 

aiichirou: AAAAAaA

 

niconicobitch: AAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

(cut for length)

 

… 

 

kissme: asahi

kissme: asahiii

 

kissme: asahi its been five minutes where r uuuu

 

asabye: im literally in the room next to you

 

kissme: asahi help meeeeeee

kissme: help me!! 

 

asabye: okok whats wrong

 

kissme: help me

kissme: im iNJURED

 

asabye: how???? youre just sitting on the couch

 

kissme: im in horrible horrible horrible agonizing pain

 

asabye: wtf are you ok????

 

kissme: ive fALLEN

kissme: mcfallen

 

asabye: are you hurt???? 

 

kissme: fallen in love with you bEAUTIFUL EYES

kissme: hahahaaha gotcha

kissme: how u doin bb

 

asabye: i

asabye: bye

 

kissme: :(

kissme: :((((

 

(private chat: kisumi and asahi

asa<3: how can you fall in love with my eyes

asa<3: yours are prettier anyway 

kisu<3: AWWWW ASAHI) 

 

kissme:  screenshot.png

kissme: GUYS LOOK ASAHI IS SO SWEET 

 

soudonewithyourshit: ok you guys are cute and all but

soudonewithyoushit: pls stop before i get diabetes

 

asabye: ...kisumi why did you send that

 

kissme: <3 

 

asabye: ..

asabye: <3 

 

soudonewithyourshit: d i a b e t e s

 

…

 

bananase-kun: homosexuals are gay

 

reiofsunshine: y

reiofsunshine: yes they are

 

momkoto: hARU ITS FOUR AM GO TO BED

 

bananase-kun: time isnt r eal 

 

niconicobitch: TIME

 

gou’s hoe: THERES NOT ENOUGH TIME

 

niconicobitch: [THERE ALWAYS TIME FOR A SOOooOoONG](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtkGtXtDlQA)

 

reiofsunshine: oh no

reisunshine: oh nononononno

reiofsunshine: NAGISA NOT THIS AGAIN

reiofsunshine: I HAD NIGHTMARES FROM THAT

 

gou’s hoe: time is a tool u can wear on the wall

 

niconicobitch: or wear it on your RiZD

 

gou’s hoe: the past is far behind us

 

niconicobitch: the future doesnt exist!

 

momkoto: what. the fuck   
  


gou’s hoe: whats the time?

 

niconicobitch: its quarter to nine

 

gou’s hoe: time to have a bath!

 

niconicobitch: what do u mean were already clean

 

gou’s hoe: scrub scrub scrub till the waters BROWN

 

reiofsunshine: STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT

 

niconicobitch: time is a tool to measure the day

 

gou’s hoe: doesnt go backwards only one way

 

niconicobitch: going so fast like a merry go round

 

gou’s hoe:watch it go fast like a merry go round

 

momkoto: STOP?????????

 

niconicobitch: LETS GO ON A JOURNEY

 

bananase-kun: i dont think theyre going to listen to you makoto

 

gou’s hoe: A JOURNEY THROUGH TIME

 

momkoto: i can see that

 

niconicobitch: A TIME THATS CHANGING ALL THE TIME

 

gou’s hoe: ITS TIME TO GO TO TIME

 

momkoto: hAZUKI NAGISA GO TO BED OR I WILL PERSONALLY GO OVER AND STRANGLE YOU

 

niconicobitch: YES SIR CAPTAIN SIR

 

… 

 

drinkingproblem: man you guys are wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> makoto who?? i only know tachibana marv  
> hes so done with all of them lol but oh well,, thats the job of a mom  
> also im proud bc i memorised all of the words from time :))  
> (ps pls give me suggestions for sousukes name i cant think of anything funny and its getting tiring to type)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im sorry 
> 
> (not really)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok ep9 killed me as always  
> i wont ramble but a) isuzu is so cute i cant,, and b) my new aesthetic is kisumi going into marron and only asking how his race was when literally. everybody went

niconicobitch: i am a

niconicobitch: rebel

 

rinnegan: what why

 

niconicobitch: today i poured in milk before the cereal >:)

 

rinnegan: wHAT

rinnegan: WHY WOULD YOU

rinnegan: WTF??/

 

toenail: whats wrong with that tho

 

rinnegan: yOU TOO???

 

toenail: no

toenail: but like

toenail: whats wrong with pouring in the milk first?

toenail: its still cereal

 

rinnegan: N OYOU DONT UNDERSTAND??

rinnegan: THE ORDER IS IMPORTANT OK

rinnegan: CEREAL ALWAYS GOES BEFORE MIKL

 

niconicobitch: haru-chan does it too

niconicobitch: ;)

 

rinnegan: WHAT WHY

rinnegan: HARU WHY

rinnegan: SDFHGJHGHF

 

toenail: ...is he ok

 

niconicobitch: hell be fine

 

gou’s hoe: wait wait

gou’s hoe: if you put the cereal after the milk

gou’s hoe: is

gou’s hoe: is it a soup??????

 

toenail: what

 

niconicobitch: s o u p

 

gou’s hoe: or is it a stew??

gou’s hoe: or a salad??????

 

toenail: ew salad

 

niconicobitch: hOw dare you

niconicobitch: right in front of my salad!!!!11!

 

toenail: e w  s a l a d

toenail: take your vegetables away from me

 

niconicobitch: no!!!!!!!

 

gou’s hoe: ok im sticking with soup

gou’s hoe: also is tomato a fruit or vegetable???

 

aiichirou: oh no not this again

aiichirou: momo for the 3987329th time

aiichirou: a tomato is a fruit

 

niconicobitch: WHAT

niconicobitch: VEGGIE TALES LIED TO ME

niconicobitch: BOB THE TOMATO WAS A FRUIT ALL ALONG?????????

niconicobitch: I BET HE WAS A SPY FOR THE FRUITS

niconicobitch: THE FRUIT FORCE

 

toenail: f r u i t f o r ce

 

gou’s hoe: what if

gou’s hoe: a tomato isnt a fruit OR a vegetable

 

toenail: what else would it be??

 

niconicobitch: wAI T

niconicobitch: GUYS LOOK AT THIS

niconicobitch: betterboy.png

 

toenail: what the heck is that

 

aiichirou: better boy????????

 

gou’s hoe: if theres a better boy

gou’s hoe: is there a best boy???????

 

asabye: hi thats me

 

toenail: well i mean

toenail: with that hair

toenail: y ea h

 

asabye: my hair is fabulous ok

 

niconicobitch: WAIT GYUS THERES MORE

niconicobitch: “lower classifications of tomato:

niconicbitch: “early girl”

niconicbitch: “black krim”

niconicbitch: “gardener’s delight”

niconicbitch: “tigerella”

niconicbitch: “GREEN ZEBRA”

 

asabye: LMFAOO GREEN ZEBRA

 

gou's hoe: maybe he ate too many leaves and began to photosynthesise

 

aiichirou: thats not even possible????

aiichirou: and zebras eat grass not leaves 

 

gou's hoe: they eat the leaves of grass!!!

 

aiichirou: i give up

 

niconicbitch: “mr. stripey”

niconicbitch: “campari”

niconicbitch: “celebrity tomato”

 

aiichirou: tag yourself im mr stripey

 

niconicbitch: “super sweet 100”

 

gou’s hoe: ai senpai i thing that fits you better

 

aiichirou: aw momo

 

niconicbitch: “big beef”

niconicbitch: “big rainbow”

 

asabye: im big rainbow

asabye: for obvious reasons

 

niconicobitch: “moneymaker”

niconicobitch: wow so many different flavours of tomato!!!!!!!!

 

toenail: literally all tomatoes taste the same

 

asabye: no they dont????  


gou’s hoe: how do you know??

gou’s hoe: OMG HAVE YOU TRIED ALL OF THEM?????

gou’s hoe: DID YOU DO THE TOMATO CHALLENGE??

 

toenail: wtf no????

toenail: what the heck even is the tomato challenge

 

aiichirou: dont worry its just some dumb thing he made up

 

gou’s hoe: its not dumb!!!!!

 

toenail: i hate vegetables

toenail: they are

toenail: d i s g u s t i ng

 

asabye: tomato is a fruit

 

toenail: ok first of all fuck you

 

asabye: no thanks im good

 

niconicobitch: GUYS I JUST GOT A GREAT IDEA

niconicobitch: what if

niconicobitch: we all change our names to tomato

niconicobitch: or even beter bob the tomato!! even though hes a LYING CHEATING SPY FOR THE FRUIT FORCE

niconicobitch: then no one will know whos who!!

 

toenail: i dont think thats a good idea

 

gou’s hoe: oOH SOUNDS LIKE FUN

 

aiichirou: MOMO NO

aiichirou: nagisa w h y

 

asabye: nononono

asabye: no way

asabye: how will i know who is kisumi like that??

 

kissme: translation for readers: what if kisumi flirts with someone else whos not me?

 

asabye: SLKJFHGNO,,,

asabye: AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN READERS

asabye: WTF HE JUST WENT OFFLINE

 

toenail: on second thought

toenail: go ahead and do it

toenail: this looks like fun

 

asabye: asshole

 

niconicobitch: its ok asa-chan!!

niconicobitch: you wont have to worry about that because kisu-chan wont know whos who either!!

 

asabye: I NEVER SAID I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THAT

asabye: and that doesnt even make it any better?????

 

gou’s hoe: DO IT!!!!

 

aiichirou: why do i put up with this

 

niconicobitch changed their name to bob the tomato

tomato changed asabye’s name to bob the tomato

 

toenail: wait but wont people just change it back

 

bob the tomato: oh right!

 

bob the tomato removed admin rights from bob the tomato, toenail, aiichirou, gou’s hoe, kissme, bananase-kun, momkoto, reiofsunshine, rinnegan, soudonewithyourshit, ikuya, getoutnao, drinkingproblem

 

bob the tomato: thanks hiyo-chan!

 

bob the tomato: oh boy

 

bob the tomato changed toenail’s name to bob the tomato

bob the tomato changed aiichirou’s name to bob the tomato

bob the tomato changed gou’s hoe’s name to bob the tomato

bob the tomato changed kissme’s name to bob the tomato

bob the tomato changed bananase-kun’s name to bob the tomato

bob the tomato changed ikuya’s name to bob the tomato

bob the tomato changed momkoto’s name to bob the tomato

bob the tomato changed reiofsunshine’s name to bob the tomato

bob the tomato changed rinnegan’s name to bob the tomato

bob the tomato changed soudonewithyourshit to bob the tomato

bob the tomato changed getoutnao’s name to bob the tomato

bob the tomato changed drinkingproblem’s name to bob the tomato

 

bob the tomato renamed the chat “FRUIT FORCE”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bob is a liar  
> on another note,, i was browsing youtube and coincidentally found [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9ak89FwYeI) but i didnt watch it so have fun i guess  
> next chapter is going to be wild :") idk why i did this to myself im going to get carpel tunnel from typing bob the tomato so many times istg


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im sorry v.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this makes no sense its 2am and i did this in an hour  
> have fun distinguishing whos who :)

bob the tomato: siri how do i kermit sewer slide

bob the tomato: oh wait this isnt siri

 

bob the tomato: i want to kermit a crime

bob the tomato: WAIT WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR NAMES

 

bob the tomato: ...i just read the previous chat

 

bob the tomato: NAGISA WHY

 

bob the tomato: ;)

 

bob the tomato: wHO ARE YOU?????

 

bob the tomato: hi, im bob

 

bob the tomato: hi bob, im bob 

 

bob the tomato: k i l l m e

bob the tomato: wHAT WHY CANT I CHANGE MY NAME

 

bob the tomato: nagisa removed admin rights

 

bob the tomato: are you nagisa

bob the tomato: or are you talking in third person..

 

bob the tomato: ;)

 

bob the tomato: IM 

bob the tomato: SO CONFUSED?????

 

bob the tomato: ok lets list our names out so we know

bob the tomato: im makoto

 

bob the tomato: even if you know you cant change the names tho

 

bob the tomato: ..

bob the tomato: whatever at least we know whos here now

 

bob the tomato: im rin

 

bob the tomato: WTF NO IM RIN?????

 

bob the tomato: WHAT

bob the tomato: dont even

bob the tomato: makoto dont listen to them im rin

 

bob the tomato: NO IM RIN MAKOTO BELIEVE ME

 

bob the tomato: idk man

bob the tomato: am i even makoto??? who knows at this point

 

bob the tomato: WHA T

 

bob the tomato: if you want to prove youre rin-chan

 

bob the tomato: NAGISA CHANGE THIS BACK

 

bob the tomato: who ever said i was nagisa ;)

bob the tomato: to prove youre rin you have to tell us something only rin would know!!!

 

bob the tomato: but how would we know that hes telling us something only rin knows if only rin knows it….

 

bob the tomato: shut up

 

bob the tomato: o k

 

bob the tomato: how am i supposed to prove that im rin????

bob the tomato: can i just like

bob the tomato: send a selfie 

 

bob the tomato: no bc im pretty sure /some/ peopel have selfies of you too

 

bob the tomato: um no they dont but ok

bob the tomato: how am i supposed to prove????? myself

 

bob the tomato: idk tell us like your deepest darkest secret!!

 

bob the tomato: something only rin would know!!!!!!

 

bob the tomato: again, that doesnt make sense

 

bob the tomato: ummmmm 

bob the tomato: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

bob the tomato: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMM

bob the tomato: ok finE

bob the tomato: um 

bob the tomato: i kind of have a crush on haru

 

bob the tomato:: kIND OF????

 

bob the tomato: dude

bob the tomato: literally everyone knows that????

bob the tomato: how is that a secret

 

bob the tomato: WH a t

 

bob the tomato: yea!!! even haru-chan knows it!!

bob the tomato: right haru-chan?

 

bob the tomato: yes

 

bob the tomato: i

bob the tomato: wh a t i s h a p pening 

 

bob the tomato: rin, you like me?

 

bob the tomato: umm

bob the tomato: yeaaaa totally i have a hugeee crush on you hahahaa

 

(private chat: haru and rin

HARUno: rin im going over

shaRINgan: haru?? what why

shaRINgan: going where

HARUno: to your house

shaRINgan: ok no offense haru but are you ok

shaRINgan: you never come over unless i force you to which is like,, never

HARUno: i think we should talk in person than over text

shaRINgan: uh haru,, youre freaking me out

shaRINgan: why are you coming over??? and what do we have to talk about??

HARUno: rin i know youre dumb but not that dumb

HARUno: you confessed to me in the group chat

shaRINgan: um first of all, excuse me

shaRINgan: secondly WHAT THE FUCK

shaRINgan: i havent even checked the group chat since momo poured milk in first

HARUno: 

HARUno: oh

shaRINgan: wAIT HARU

shaRINgan: you should still come over anyway i havent seen you in ages

HARUno: ..ok 

shaRINgan: and you can say hi to gou

HARUno: you should read the group chat

shaRINgan: yea)

 

bob the tomato: nagisa hes been silent for really long

 

bob the tomato: shhhh dont reveal out identities!!!

bob the tomato: oh shit do you think hes messaging rin-chan abt it

 

bob the tomato: is haru that confrontational?? i dont remember him being

 

bob the tomato: oh nooooooo

bob the tomato: do you think he found out?   
bob the tomato: lkjhgd i still have to prank more people ufhgh

 

bob the tomato: ...you do know this is the group chat right

bob the tomato: everyone can see this

 

bob the tomato: OK WHAT THE FUCK NAGISA

bob the tomato: FUCKING AROUND WITH SOME OTHER PEOPLE

bob the tomato: INTEFERING WITH MY LOVE LIFE

bob the tomato: what the fuck.

 

bob the tomato: ummmmmmm

bob the tomato: im not nagisa ;)))

 

bob the tomato: LIKE HELL ID BELIEVE YOU

bob the tomato: ok uk what i have no time for this

bob the tomato: when i get back this better be fixed nagisa

bob the tomato: or else

bob the tomato: :).

 

bob the tomato: that only looks scary bc bob said it

 

bob the tomato: NAGISA

 

bob the tomato: OKOKKOKOK

 

bob the tomato: now i have to go and fix a mess that i didnt even CREATE

 

bob the tomato: honestly me all the time

… 

 

private chat: rin and makoto

 

rin: shit 

rin: fuck makoto im sorry

rin: i know you wanted to tell him first

makoto: what do you mean?

rin: um about the agreement,,,

rin: i kinda broke it

rin: OK BUT NOT ON PURPOSE pls dont get mad oh no

rin: ok so hear me out

rin: nagisa changed everyones names in the group chat

rin: and then someone pretended to be me 

rin: to sum it up they exposed me and i only knew because haru confronted me

rin: and um

rin: hes coming to my house now to “talk”

makoto: ok at least you didnt do it intentionally

makoto: i just 

makoto: wanted to do it first because im his childhood friend yknow? but its fine i guess

rin: fuck makoto im sorry

makoto: its ok, its not your fault

makoto: i just

makoto: is it ok if i go over too? i dont really want to be left out

rin: yEs it is ok of course its ok 

rin: um

rin: maybe we can explain everything to him then?

makoto: yea i guess

makoto: he deserves to know

rin: but if he doesnt 

rin: ok nvm lets not think of that

rin: ok you should hurry harus already on his way

makoto: ok

makoto: if he gets there before me try to distract him, please

rin: yea ok

makoto: im going now

rin: <3

makoto: <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow actual plot??? in my christian minecraft server??? its more likely than you think  
> i hope you liked the surprise plot twist at the end ;) just like ep9 had me yelling every 5 seconds at all the plot twists like isuzu??? as a mikoshiba???? i swore she was toono's sister for the longest time  
> (also i totally did not spend an hour watching code ment and then proceeding to watch [this thing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlDlVeFNbZs) and crying over it bc feels,, hahah totally not)

**Author's Note:**

> hi thanks for coming to my ted talk  
> not sure if i’ll update?? but it’s fun to write so most likely! also @kyoani pls give me my asakisu in the next ep thanks,,


End file.
